Dear Campus Visitor,

Welcome to the most revered institute of poultry cooking comprehension around— The College for Chicken Knowledge.

I first opened this College back in 1952 to make certain my original way of making the finest fried chicken was being carried out in all my restaurants. No winging it on the wings, if you know what I mean.

Now, it’s come to my attention that some of you folks on the interweb have a bone to pick with my chicken, taking to Tweeter to complain that my product just doesn’t taste like it used to. Reading your comments almost got me a' hootin’ and hollerin’, because there’s no one who respects the art of pressure cookin’ chicken more than your Colonel.

And to prove it, I've reopened the College doors—to retrain my cooks in my original way of doing things. That’s right, cooks—we’ve always had them. Because I truly do believe that there are no short cuts when it comes to doin’ things the right way. That’s why we hand-bread every piece of Canadian-raised chicken with care, and cook em’ up just right.

Now I know, as a true connoisseur of quality foods, you’ve probably been dying to enroll at this fine establishment. My friend, you’ll be downright disappointed to hear, our school is only for KFC cooks. But you’re welcome to take a mosey around, and find out just how we make our chicken so finger lickin’ good. And no, I'm sorry, you can't crawl inside the screen and enjoy that fried chicken we've been talking about so much. I know, I've tried.

Sincerely,